Quotations I've collected (and added to my blog)
2012...
"Don't fear me because I'm beautiful." (my husband)
I soon came to accept that there is a home for every object—except for the construction paper Thanksgiving turkey I glued together in fourth grade, with the head on backward. I’m adding that to a new barrel of family heirlooms that I will give my children when they buy their first homes. (Richard Conniff)
Why is it so bad to lose touch with reality? Have you seen reality lately? Colbert
Fat-hate is merely a symptom of the true illness; a cultural sickness that says the beautiful body is the only one that is really human or really worthwhile. (Betty Fokker)
Now I have to go fill my glass, because pessimists and optimists can agree when a glass is entirely empty. (Sunshine Betty)
"On and on the comments went, turning a rather stark write-up of a daft-sounding study into a sublime piece of live online performance art. A chimps' tea party of the damned." (Charlie Brooker, in re a study that says right wingers are dumb)
who put the land mines in the "middle of the road" because that's where I like to "drive" Renee Nickel
"If people visiting you need to move a pile off a chair to sit down, let them move it. You’re worth it." (Bette Noir)
"The important thing is that we've already learned from the mistakes we never made." (Stephen Colbert on The Daily Show)
"Everybody is a contradiction of themselves and not only is that not a problem, it’s a beautiful thing. People should be contradictions. If you’re not, it means you’re not evolving or becoming a better person. " - Justin Vernon (of Bon Iver)
Do your bit to save humanity from lapsing back into barbarity by reading all the novels you can. (Richard Hughes)
The Communist Manifesto is not a good name for a boat. (the son on Dr Katz, Professional Therapist)
Don't judge me by the cover, cause I'm a real good book. - Dolly Parton (backwoods barbie)
Typing, typing, typing
Keep those fingers typing
Typing, typing, typing ...deadline! Megan
“I think his concerns are the same ones we all have,” says Mr. Wilder: “we want people to be as loving as possible.” (Thornton Wilder's nephew on Thornton Wilder's The Matchmaker)
“This is too horrible of a misapprehension of everything.” - Asad
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer." (Mitch Hedberg)
"It's so beautiful it hurts my feelings." (Wayne White)
"No you can't just subtract upside down like a bat--you have to regroup." (Lit Diva to a student)
"Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul." (Walt Whitman, preface to Leaves of Grass)
"Maybe that's why we love them because their lives aren't lengthy, logical, or deliberate but an EXPLOSIVE PARADOX composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm." The Oatmeal
"The slogans are loud and the plans are grand, but when it comes to implementation, the constraints are many." (Zhao Xijun, a professor talking about China... but what a great line. Seems applicable in so many other situations!)
You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying the way you're doing it. - Nick in New Girl
"Why am I going through all these things? I'm not Bin Laden's wife." - nice lady on the news
"You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying the way you're doing it." (Nick in New Girl)
“Maybe 99 of 100 people will disappoint you. But I don’t know, I think you find the magic of the world in the margin of error.” (Mayor from Hart of Dixie)
No I don't dance, I'm from the town in Footloose. - Nick in New Girl
as I was cutting my arm off I was smiling, I felt that smile on my face. And if it’s possible for me to smile as I’m doing the most painful thing that is ever going to happen to me in my life there’s potential for all kinds of shifts in the perspective of life. - Aron Ralston
"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose." (PG Wodehouse
"There is no need to sharpen my pencils anymore, my pencils are sharp enough. Even the dull ones will make a mark." (ze frank)
“It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
― Charles M. Schulz, It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, Snoopy
No one says a novel has to be one thing. It can be anything it wants to be, a vaudeville show, the six o'clock news, the mumblings of wild men saddled by demons. (Ishmael Reed)
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley
Byron: Be quiet, sir. Can't you see we're dying? - Mrs Miggins: Don't you worry about my poets, Mr Blackadder. They're not dead; they're just being intellectual. - Edmund: Mrs Miggins, there's nothing intellectual about wandering around Italy in a big shirt, trying to get laid. (Blackadder: Ink and Incapability)
"If you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike! If you don't, you just keep practicing!!" (youtube kid)
"A mysterious package has shown up on my doorstep. It is covered in stickers that say FRAGILE! Apparently someone has mailed me my ego." (my brother's facebook status)
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." (Colette)
"I bought a doughnut and they, they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut, man. I give you the money, you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, man. I got the documentation right here.'" (Mitch Hedberg on Dr Katz, Therapist)
Earlier...
Magic is afoot! It cannot come to harm. It rests in an empty palm. It spawns in an empty mind.
But magic is no instrument: magic is the End! (Leonard Cohen)
"It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls." Woody Allen, Crimes and Misdemeanors
Consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together.
Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done. (Jack Layton)
"Everyone's a little cuckoo--the ones that hide it well are the ones that I worry about." (Wilfred)
When you’re walking through fire you’re concentrating on not getting burned. It’s once you are through and look back that you see there was no other path to your current destination. (You also realize what a Bad Ass Bitch you are, too. I mean, come on, you just walked through FIRE.) (Hoorah Hooha Betty)
"The perfect is the enemy of the good." (Voltaire)
Blessed are the dead for love
And those who cry for peace
And those who love the gift of earth
May their gene pool increase
(Bruce Cockburn "Shipwrecked at the Stable Door")
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." (Somerset Maugham)
Shorty: "I can't pay that shit no mind." Malcolm: "Brother you need to pay it all your mind." (From the movie Malcolm X)
"Time is the school in which we learn. Time is the fire in which we burn." (Poem by Delmore Schwartz)
"The call rings up the curtain, always, on a mystery of transfiguration ... which, when complete, amounts to a dying and a birth. The familiar life horizon has been outgrown; the old concepts, ideals, and emotional patterns no longer fit; the time for the passing of the threshold is at hand." (Joseph Campbell describing the Call to Adventure.)
"Some will trust in the things they think they know. They should think again and let them go." - Steve Bell (songwriter)
"And when you're growing down instead of growing up / Tell me are you bold enough to reach for love? (Janelle Monae, "Many Moons")
"Don't get trapped in hopeless cages, 'cause hopeless isn't true." (Hawksley Workman)
"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." (Erma Bombeck)
“I sometimes do not know what to say, but every day I make progress.” (Robot Bina 48)
"I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty." (Oriah Mountain Dreamer)
"I'm flawed all over but I'm perfect in all my flaws." (Guy interviewed on Definitely Not the Opera)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. (Thoreau)
Eric: The only person you ever loved is yourself.
Drama: ...What's not to love?
(Entourage)
I'm tired of being a nobody. I wanna be the object of respect, fear and sex! (Radar on MASH)
You approve your own beauty. You say you're beautiful. Don't wait for someone else to say it. (Iman)
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. (Oscar Wilde)
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. (Leo Tolstoy)
I have nothing to declare but my genius. (Oscar Wilde)
"If all the girls should be 'cross the sea, what a great swimmer Yellowman would be." (Yellowman 'Mi Believe/Summer Holiday')
So they pulled down the statue of the Happy Prince. ‘As he is no longer beautiful he is no longer useful,’ said the Art Professor at the University. (From Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince)
Childie - Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know.
Sister George - That is a misfortune that I am perfectly well aware of. (The Killing of Sister George)
"Hair grows no matter what you do. Don't you wish that people did too?" India Arie
"The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?" Thoreau
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” Joseph Campbell
"Fat, thin, young, old... I love me." Gene Simmons
"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming." Oscar Wilde
FROM MY OLD BLOG:
"His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect." (Saki)
Thorne: It's a funny story.
Amaar: You destroyed my chair!
Thorne: Well it's not funny the way you tell it.
(Little Mosque on the Prairie)
"Roast my raisins!" (The Prince Regent in Blackadder)
"Let's be calm, guys, with undertones of frantic." (Hawkeye in M*A*S*H*)
George - There's a moral here, Dick.
Dick - Keep your mouth shut.
George - That's it.
(Newhart show)
"What if I put on a more expensive dress and THEN cried?" (Movie: Dorothy Parker and the Vicious Circle)
Bad guy - How do I know you're not from Control?
Max - If I was from Control you'd already be dead.
Bad guy - If you were from Control you'd already be dead.
Max - Well neither of us is dead so I guess I'm not from Control. (Get Smart movie)
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you." (Bill Cosby)
Dan - I think I could take him.
Casey - Out to lunch maybe. (Sports Night)
"All I want to do is sit in the shade, and remember better times, and better men." - Mrs Fisher in The Enchanted April
"Inspector Murdoch is a teetotaler! He practices teetotalism!" (Sgt Crabtree, distressed by the intimation that his boss is on a bender)
George: Sometimes you can't help these people til they hit rock bottom.
Jerry: And by then you've lost interest.
(Seinfeld)
Ari - You wanna hug it out?
Eric - No, not really.
Ari - Let's hug it out bitch! Let's hug it out. (Entourage)
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose. (PG Wodehouse)
-"How is it you always think you're right?"
- "I don't, I just find it hard to operate on the opposite assumption." (House)
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. (Oscar Wilde)
"Now, contrary to popular opinion, Sweathogs are not dumb. I mean, a dumb person does not think of a way to make it rain in the gymnasium." (Welcome Back, Kotter)
"In the words of Sigmund Freud: I have a dream." ('George Bush' on Dennis Leary's Christmas special)
I'm about to projectile Express Myself all over your Hush Puppies. (Sue Silvester on Glee)
Only the shallow know themselves. (Oscar Wilde)
"Wakin' up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie .......whoo!" (Autotune the News)
Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. (Gary Smith)
“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” (Robert Orben )
"Every morning, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." (Robert Orben)
"You feel so different inside that you think that in winter you must have been barely alive." (Jane Siberry from her song When Spring Comes)
"Don't you smile at me like that--that's not even a real smile! That's just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind!" (Face on the A-Team)
"I feel like Dorian Gray's picture." (Charles on M*A*S*H*)
"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who." (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Fine, you deck the halls but I'm not donning any gay apparel." (Brent from Corner Gas)
"I am but too conscious of the fact that we are born in an age when only the dull are treated seriously, and I live in terror of not being misunderstood." (Oscar Wilde)
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." (Oscar Wilde)
"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde)
"They were the sort that went trampling all over your pet stamp collection, or whatever it was, and then spent the rest of their lives atoning for it. But you would rather have had your stamp collection." (Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm)
"It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco. It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world." (Oscar Wilde)
"I worry that the drop in shark attacks is a sign of how unappetizing humans have become." (comment posted on a New York Times article)
Bob Roland: The man is trying to undermine you. Now what are you going to do about it?
Rufus T. Firefly: I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run. (From the Marx Brother's Duck Soup)
"The door to your future is always open." Ad slogan for a burial service. (Heard on CJAD)
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." (Oscar Wilde)
"Don't fear me because I'm beautiful." (my husband)
I soon came to accept that there is a home for every object—except for the construction paper Thanksgiving turkey I glued together in fourth grade, with the head on backward. I’m adding that to a new barrel of family heirlooms that I will give my children when they buy their first homes. (Richard Conniff)
Why is it so bad to lose touch with reality? Have you seen reality lately? Colbert
Fat-hate is merely a symptom of the true illness; a cultural sickness that says the beautiful body is the only one that is really human or really worthwhile. (Betty Fokker)
Now I have to go fill my glass, because pessimists and optimists can agree when a glass is entirely empty. (Sunshine Betty)
"On and on the comments went, turning a rather stark write-up of a daft-sounding study into a sublime piece of live online performance art. A chimps' tea party of the damned." (Charlie Brooker, in re a study that says right wingers are dumb)
who put the land mines in the "middle of the road" because that's where I like to "drive" Renee Nickel
"If people visiting you need to move a pile off a chair to sit down, let them move it. You’re worth it." (Bette Noir)
"The important thing is that we've already learned from the mistakes we never made." (Stephen Colbert on The Daily Show)
"Everybody is a contradiction of themselves and not only is that not a problem, it’s a beautiful thing. People should be contradictions. If you’re not, it means you’re not evolving or becoming a better person. " - Justin Vernon (of Bon Iver)
Do your bit to save humanity from lapsing back into barbarity by reading all the novels you can. (Richard Hughes)
The Communist Manifesto is not a good name for a boat. (the son on Dr Katz, Professional Therapist)
Don't judge me by the cover, cause I'm a real good book. - Dolly Parton (backwoods barbie)
Typing, typing, typing
Keep those fingers typing
Typing, typing, typing ...deadline! Megan
“I think his concerns are the same ones we all have,” says Mr. Wilder: “we want people to be as loving as possible.” (Thornton Wilder's nephew on Thornton Wilder's The Matchmaker)
“This is too horrible of a misapprehension of everything.” - Asad
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer." (Mitch Hedberg)
"It's so beautiful it hurts my feelings." (Wayne White)
"No you can't just subtract upside down like a bat--you have to regroup." (Lit Diva to a student)
"Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul." (Walt Whitman, preface to Leaves of Grass)
"Maybe that's why we love them because their lives aren't lengthy, logical, or deliberate but an EXPLOSIVE PARADOX composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm." The Oatmeal
"The slogans are loud and the plans are grand, but when it comes to implementation, the constraints are many." (Zhao Xijun, a professor talking about China... but what a great line. Seems applicable in so many other situations!)
You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying the way you're doing it. - Nick in New Girl
"Why am I going through all these things? I'm not Bin Laden's wife." - nice lady on the news
"You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying the way you're doing it." (Nick in New Girl)
“Maybe 99 of 100 people will disappoint you. But I don’t know, I think you find the magic of the world in the margin of error.” (Mayor from Hart of Dixie)
No I don't dance, I'm from the town in Footloose. - Nick in New Girl
as I was cutting my arm off I was smiling, I felt that smile on my face. And if it’s possible for me to smile as I’m doing the most painful thing that is ever going to happen to me in my life there’s potential for all kinds of shifts in the perspective of life. - Aron Ralston
"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose." (PG Wodehouse
"There is no need to sharpen my pencils anymore, my pencils are sharp enough. Even the dull ones will make a mark." (ze frank)
“It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
― Charles M. Schulz, It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, Snoopy
No one says a novel has to be one thing. It can be anything it wants to be, a vaudeville show, the six o'clock news, the mumblings of wild men saddled by demons. (Ishmael Reed)
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. Robert Benchley
Byron: Be quiet, sir. Can't you see we're dying? - Mrs Miggins: Don't you worry about my poets, Mr Blackadder. They're not dead; they're just being intellectual. - Edmund: Mrs Miggins, there's nothing intellectual about wandering around Italy in a big shirt, trying to get laid. (Blackadder: Ink and Incapability)
"If you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike! If you don't, you just keep practicing!!" (youtube kid)
"A mysterious package has shown up on my doorstep. It is covered in stickers that say FRAGILE! Apparently someone has mailed me my ego." (my brother's facebook status)
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." (Colette)
"I bought a doughnut and they, they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut, man. I give you the money, you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, man. I got the documentation right here.'" (Mitch Hedberg on Dr Katz, Therapist)
Earlier...
Magic is afoot! It cannot come to harm. It rests in an empty palm. It spawns in an empty mind.
But magic is no instrument: magic is the End! (Leonard Cohen)
"It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls." Woody Allen, Crimes and Misdemeanors
Consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together.
Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done. (Jack Layton)
"Everyone's a little cuckoo--the ones that hide it well are the ones that I worry about." (Wilfred)
When you’re walking through fire you’re concentrating on not getting burned. It’s once you are through and look back that you see there was no other path to your current destination. (You also realize what a Bad Ass Bitch you are, too. I mean, come on, you just walked through FIRE.) (Hoorah Hooha Betty)
"The perfect is the enemy of the good." (Voltaire)
Blessed are the dead for love
And those who cry for peace
And those who love the gift of earth
May their gene pool increase
(Bruce Cockburn "Shipwrecked at the Stable Door")
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." (Somerset Maugham)
Shorty: "I can't pay that shit no mind." Malcolm: "Brother you need to pay it all your mind." (From the movie Malcolm X)
"Time is the school in which we learn. Time is the fire in which we burn." (Poem by Delmore Schwartz)
"The call rings up the curtain, always, on a mystery of transfiguration ... which, when complete, amounts to a dying and a birth. The familiar life horizon has been outgrown; the old concepts, ideals, and emotional patterns no longer fit; the time for the passing of the threshold is at hand." (Joseph Campbell describing the Call to Adventure.)
"Some will trust in the things they think they know. They should think again and let them go." - Steve Bell (songwriter)
"And when you're growing down instead of growing up / Tell me are you bold enough to reach for love? (Janelle Monae, "Many Moons")
"Don't get trapped in hopeless cages, 'cause hopeless isn't true." (Hawksley Workman)
"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." (Erma Bombeck)
“I sometimes do not know what to say, but every day I make progress.” (Robot Bina 48)
"I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty." (Oriah Mountain Dreamer)
"I'm flawed all over but I'm perfect in all my flaws." (Guy interviewed on Definitely Not the Opera)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. (Thoreau)
Eric: The only person you ever loved is yourself.
Drama: ...What's not to love?
(Entourage)
I'm tired of being a nobody. I wanna be the object of respect, fear and sex! (Radar on MASH)
You approve your own beauty. You say you're beautiful. Don't wait for someone else to say it. (Iman)
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. (Oscar Wilde)
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. (Leo Tolstoy)
I have nothing to declare but my genius. (Oscar Wilde)
"If all the girls should be 'cross the sea, what a great swimmer Yellowman would be." (Yellowman 'Mi Believe/Summer Holiday')
So they pulled down the statue of the Happy Prince. ‘As he is no longer beautiful he is no longer useful,’ said the Art Professor at the University. (From Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince)
Childie - Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know.
Sister George - That is a misfortune that I am perfectly well aware of. (The Killing of Sister George)
"Hair grows no matter what you do. Don't you wish that people did too?" India Arie
"The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?" Thoreau
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” Joseph Campbell
"Fat, thin, young, old... I love me." Gene Simmons
"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming." Oscar Wilde
FROM MY OLD BLOG:
"His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect." (Saki)
Thorne: It's a funny story.
Amaar: You destroyed my chair!
Thorne: Well it's not funny the way you tell it.
(Little Mosque on the Prairie)
"Roast my raisins!" (The Prince Regent in Blackadder)
"Let's be calm, guys, with undertones of frantic." (Hawkeye in M*A*S*H*)
George - There's a moral here, Dick.
Dick - Keep your mouth shut.
George - That's it.
(Newhart show)
"What if I put on a more expensive dress and THEN cried?" (Movie: Dorothy Parker and the Vicious Circle)
Bad guy - How do I know you're not from Control?
Max - If I was from Control you'd already be dead.
Bad guy - If you were from Control you'd already be dead.
Max - Well neither of us is dead so I guess I'm not from Control. (Get Smart movie)
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you." (Bill Cosby)
Dan - I think I could take him.
Casey - Out to lunch maybe. (Sports Night)
"All I want to do is sit in the shade, and remember better times, and better men." - Mrs Fisher in The Enchanted April
"Inspector Murdoch is a teetotaler! He practices teetotalism!" (Sgt Crabtree, distressed by the intimation that his boss is on a bender)
George: Sometimes you can't help these people til they hit rock bottom.
Jerry: And by then you've lost interest.
(Seinfeld)
Ari - You wanna hug it out?
Eric - No, not really.
Ari - Let's hug it out bitch! Let's hug it out. (Entourage)
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose. (PG Wodehouse)
-"How is it you always think you're right?"
- "I don't, I just find it hard to operate on the opposite assumption." (House)
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. (Oscar Wilde)
"Now, contrary to popular opinion, Sweathogs are not dumb. I mean, a dumb person does not think of a way to make it rain in the gymnasium." (Welcome Back, Kotter)
"In the words of Sigmund Freud: I have a dream." ('George Bush' on Dennis Leary's Christmas special)
I'm about to projectile Express Myself all over your Hush Puppies. (Sue Silvester on Glee)
Only the shallow know themselves. (Oscar Wilde)
"Wakin' up is a strange reason to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie .......whoo!" (Autotune the News)
Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. (Gary Smith)
“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” (Robert Orben )
"Every morning, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." (Robert Orben)
"You feel so different inside that you think that in winter you must have been barely alive." (Jane Siberry from her song When Spring Comes)
"Don't you smile at me like that--that's not even a real smile! That's just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind!" (Face on the A-Team)
"I feel like Dorian Gray's picture." (Charles on M*A*S*H*)
"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who." (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Fine, you deck the halls but I'm not donning any gay apparel." (Brent from Corner Gas)
"I am but too conscious of the fact that we are born in an age when only the dull are treated seriously, and I live in terror of not being misunderstood." (Oscar Wilde)
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." (Oscar Wilde)
"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde)
"They were the sort that went trampling all over your pet stamp collection, or whatever it was, and then spent the rest of their lives atoning for it. But you would rather have had your stamp collection." (Stella Gibbons, Cold Comfort Farm)
"It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco. It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world." (Oscar Wilde)
"I worry that the drop in shark attacks is a sign of how unappetizing humans have become." (comment posted on a New York Times article)
Bob Roland: The man is trying to undermine you. Now what are you going to do about it?
Rufus T. Firefly: I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run. (From the Marx Brother's Duck Soup)
"The door to your future is always open." Ad slogan for a burial service. (Heard on CJAD)
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." (Oscar Wilde)
